They Never Saw It Coming
by Alesford
Summary: It was October when it happened, just before Halloween. Nobody saw it coming. Warning: Character death.


A/N: This is my very first piece of "Glee" fanfiction, and I apologize if the voices seem off. This has been floating around in my head, and I needed to write it down. If you read, please review.

Disclaimer: "Glee" does not belong to me.

* * *

It was October when it happened, just before Halloween. Nobody saw it coming because all they knew was that the girl with far too many argyle sweaters was talking far too much for their liking about a costume they far couldn't care less about. Nobody saw it coming when they filed into school that Monday morning and received passes during homeroom to report to the Spanish room.

They never saw it when names like _RuPaul _and_ Stubbles _and_ Treasure Trail, _and _Man Hands _escaped their lips. They never saw it when snark about argyle and knee-socks and pantsuits flew from their mouths. They never saw it coming.

It was a Monday in October when they heard the news. The classroom felt starkly different from the maroon chairs on the risers within the choir room. It felt far more cramped than the open auditorium and far less natural with its buzzing fluorescent lights opposed to the bright spotlights under which they all strived to shine. The gaudy flags and ugly sombreros just reminded all of them that this wasn't normal.

They shared confused glances as they looked forward to Mr. Schuester with Ms. Pillsbury at his side. They stole uncertain looks to one another as the school bell rang and the noise of the halls that seeped into the classroom lessened until the silence was suffocating. They waited.

It was during homeroom on a Monday in October when Will Schuester's voice cracked harshly and Emma Pillsbury's hand reached for his without an ounce of sanitizer nearby. It was then that they knew something was wrong, even if nobody had seen it coming. It was then that the silence seemed even more constricting as his words played in their heads like a broken record. _"Rachel took her own life last night."_

"_Rachel took her own life last night."_

_Racheltookherownlifelastnight._

They stared blankly as the words blurred together in their minds. They hadn't seen it coming. Even after all the name-calling and the insults and the slushies, they hadn't seen it coming.

They hadn't seen it coming.

* * *

It was a Thursday in October when they gathered in the only cemetery in Lima, Ohio. They dressed in black, and not even Kurt Hummel bothered for anything fancier than a basic suit and tie. They were surprised when only five adults appeared and they were saddened when those five adults were Rachel's fathers, Mr. Schuester and Ms. Pillsbury, and Shelby Corcoran and Beth.

They hadn't seen it coming but they should have.

It was after the minister left that "Amazing Grace" hummed from Kurt's lips. It was a minute later that the hum became Mercedes' voice, and it was a moment after that when one voice became sixteen. It was during the song that it finally became reality in their minds. _Rachel took her own life._

Tears that weren't in eyes before now rolled freely down cheeks and disappeared onto black.

It was a Thursday in October, just before Halloween, when they lowered the casket into the ground.

* * *

Sam hadn't known Rachel for very long. She kind of freaked him out, but when he heard her sing, he forgot about her intensity and her histrionic behavior. He wondered if it was like that for everybody.

Sam hadn't known Rachel for very long, but he realized that he admired her strength for enduring the name-calling and the insults and the slushies, and he wished that she had been a little stronger or that he had been a little braver to lend the strength he had. He hadn't known her for very long but his heart still broke at the thought of a young girl's life cut so short.

* * *

Matt and Mike were never very mean to Rachel. Matt and Mike were never very kind to Rachel, either. They were bystanders and followers of the social hierarchy. They followed because they had to, and even if neither of them wanted Rachel slushied, they never had lifted a hand to stop them.

Matt and Mike were never very kind or very mean to Rachel, but they wondered if that was why she was gone. They wondered if they had stopped a slushie-just once-if she would still be around.

* * *

Artie sometimes found Rachel intimidating, but she had always supported him with her connections to the ACLU. Rachel had always found a way for him to be involved in their dance numbers even if he couldn't use his legs. Artie had always found a way to avoid Rachel when she wanted something from him.

Artie sometimes found Rachel intimidating, but she had always been there for him. He wondered if she would still be alive if he had been kinder or more accepting of her differences as she had been of his.

* * *

Tina kind of envied Rachel. She was confident and knew where she fit in even though she didn't fit in at all. Tina envied that of her. She couldn't sing as well as Rachel and she couldn't talk as well as her, and sometimes that made her say mean things.

Tina didn't envy Rachel anymore. Instead, she wondered what it was like to know and accept that you didn't fit in anywhere and she felt her heart ache with sadness.

* * *

Kurt never liked Rachel. He liked her voice and needed her voice but he never liked her. He tossed around insults when he knew their sting because he couldn't bear to sink any lower on the social ladder. He never showed her the kindness that she had shown him, and even when they were singing as Streisand and Garland once did, he knew they still would never be friends.

Kurt never liked Rachel, but now he wondered if that empty feeling inside of him was longing for her in a way that one can only miss a friend. He wondered if maybe they could have gotten along one day, and if that day had been sooner that he would have seen it coming.

* * *

Santana and Brittany never hated Rachel. They flung insults and slushies because red, white, and black is empowering and they liked that feeling. Rachel was at the bottom and they were at the top and it was expected, but they never hated her. Even with annoying rants, obnoxious babbling, and ridiculous diva-stomps, they never hated her.

Santana and Brittany never hated Rachel until she wasn't there to hate. Santana hated her for being weak, and Brittany hated her because Santana did. Really, without wondering, they both knew they hated her because they hated whatever was inside them that didn't help the situation. They hated her because they were part of the reason that Rachel Berry was gone.

* * *

Mercedes could never stand Rachel. William McKinley High School was only big enough to handle so much diva potential, and Mercedes could not stand to share that with her. She could never stand Rachel because she had the voice and the personality and the potential and she only had the personality. Mercedes could never stand to stand second but that was all she ever did with Rachel even when she wasn't.

Mercedes could never stand Rachel because she couldn't stand the thought of staying a Lima Loser. She stepped on toes and said nasty things and waved her fingers like nobody else because she was a match to Rachel's torch. She wondered, briefly, if there was any way they could have shared the spotlight, and then she realized they couldn't and she can't stand herself.

* * *

Puck never appreciated Rachel. She was the hot Jew his mother would like and she was one hell of a singer even if she squeaked like a mouse and dressed like his grandmother. She was the girl who wouldn't fall for his charms, and he was the boy who would never be her first.

Puck never appreciated Rachel, but he wasn't sure if she ever appreciated him. He still wondered if using her because she was Jewish was a mean idea, and he wondered if and hoped that she was in a place where somebody appreciated her because he never did.

* * *

Finn always thought he loved Rachel. She was headstrong and kind of overwhelming but he thought he loved that about her. She was kind and kind of a loser and he was sweet and the quarterback and there was always something Romeo and Juliet about it all. He always thought he loved her, even when he didn't.

Finn always thought he loved Rachel. He always wanted to love her, especially on that night in October when he told her he didn't and she cried and he left without another word. He never wondered whether or not he could have done something different because he knew. He always thought he loved her, but thinking was never his strong suit.

* * *

Quinn always lied to Rachel. Every name and every insult always felt a lie as they snapped off her tongue with practiced ease. Every word of hate was always false and every word of kindness was always true when Rachel always believed the opposite. Quinn always kind of liked Rachel, even with her sweaters with little lambs sewn into them and even with her Mary Jane's on her feet.

Quinn always lied to Rachel, and now she wishes she hadn't. She never needed to wonder because she always felt the weight on her shoulders. She lied to Rachel, and the fault is hers because somewhere along the way she might have loved Rachel and lied about it. She lied to Rachel and she must pay the price.

* * *

It was October when it happened, just before Halloween. It was a Monday morning when they heard the news and it was a Thursday afternoon when they sang goodbye. It was in October that their lives were turned upside down in ways the couldn't imagine, and it was on a Friday that they grasped onto the one thing they were sure about.

They dressed in knee-high socks and argyle sweaters and pantsuits. They took their slushies without a flinch. They nodded firmly at each other in the halls because they were sure of one thing.

All of them missed Rachel Berry.

It was October that everything changed, and each one of them still feels those words reverberate within their own minds, hearts, and souls. _Rachel took her own life. _But now they try to keep their eyes open so they can see it coming if it comes their way again. So they can stop and say, "It gets better." Because it does, eventually.

_It gets better._


End file.
